Chicken Jockey - Why Men Won't Behave in Public
the danger of conditioning men into thinking the world is their personal playground
Earlier this week I watched a video of an angry father who had taken his five year old daughter to watch the Minecraft film, and who had been forced to leave early when teenage boys decanted a drink on her head. I have since seen videos of cinema employees begging for etiquette to be maintained, whilst sweeping popcorn from the floors of the theatre. And then videos of the delinquency itself: screaming, food thrown violently, an entire live chicken thrown in the air and later discarded.
The Minecraft movie is unarguably targeted toward the demographic of young men who consume video game content. I specify young men here, because whilst young women do engage with Minecraft, the film itself is reductive toward its female characters in a disheartening way (separating them from their male counterparts for the entirety of the movie and having them build a pretty cottage whilst the male characters go on an adventure). And of media which is targeted to this demographic, a trend of destruction and disrespect being born is no coincidence.
Destruction as Expression
In a 2019 interview, poet Ocean Vuong asked the question, “what happens to our men and boys when the only way they can valuate themselves is through the lexicon of death and destruction?” and the answer is this. Violent force, disrespect for social boundaries, a lack of empathy, an urge to deface. We see this trend in male-dominated sporting events, where their only way to celebrate or commiserate is to destroy. Glasses smashed on the pub floor, bricks through windows, a spike in domestic violence - regardless of who wins.
Combining low emotional intelligence and communication skills with the constantly reinforced message of patriarchal destruction results in men who cannot express themselves appropriately. Vuong originally talks of destructive language such as “you’re killing it” and “you absolutely destroyed that” being used as encouragement, however this extends beyond merely our vernacular. The body language of celebration - air punches, slapping backs, celebratory kicks - become a violent reminder that language extends beyond words, and so does the resultant harm.
The World is Men’s Oyster
Consequences are limited under a patriarchal society. For men, that is. A recent case which comes to mind is Ruben Vanstiphout being found guilty of graphic sexual assault, but not being convicted because of his “promising career” as a gynaecologist. So many of our male celebrities have histories fraught with violence and sexual abuse (e.g Mark Wahlberg, Chris Brown, Kanye West, Johnny Depp, P Diddy, Conor McGregor, Bill Cosby, Vin Diesel … I could go on). Men largely escape scrutiny in the public sphere which seems to be reserved only for women. Female celebrities face more consequences for being mildly annoying than their male counterparts do for being outright abusive.
Women are condemned in the public sphere for their perceived moral failings, their style choices, their weight fluctuations, their outspokenness, their unwillingness to be outspoken, their personalities, their lack of personalities, their conservativeness, their progressiveness, their emotions, their coldness - everything about them. Whilst men in the public sphere are simply allowed to exist, with nothing more than a slap on the wrist every now and then for misbehaving.
This larger-scale demonstration of patriarchy exists in every day life, and instills within men a sense of patriarchal entitlement which allows them to view the world as a consequence-free playground of opportunities. And therein lies the crux of the issue: no fear of consequences, coupled with a lexicon of disrespect and destruction. The entitlement is gifted to them.
“It’s really not that deep”
What is expressed by young boys at the cinema is later expressed by men in the home. It starts with “chicken jockey!” and thrown drinks, and it ends with domestic violence. The culture of entitlement, destruction, and disrespect bleeds into every corner of life. In a society where misogyny based violence such as femicide is still rampant, and largely unaddressed, criticism of the enabling behaviours and mindsets is crucial.
Until real consequences are offered to men for misbehaving in public, and until we are teaching boys to express their emotions appropriately, we cannot expect gender based violence to cease. It is far more nefarious than just a movie-trend.